Journal Entry: April 3rd, 2016 - Blame

Today i want to talk about blame. People, including myself, like to blame everything but themselves for things that go wrong in their life. Amazingly, these are often the same people who don't want to give anybody else credit for their successes when they happen. They are fully responsible when things go right -- but they look to blame anybody or anything else when things go wrong. Perhaps a virtuous person would be the opposite. Taking blame for things when they go wrong and looking at everybody else when things go right.

I'm no longer going to blame other people -- nor am I going to allow other people to blame me. I'm going to do what i'm supposed to do and if i do that then i'm not worried about being blamed.

When people blame other people or things, they likely just didn't do enough background work. They didn't plan or prepare for that outcome, so when it happened they felt powerless. And since they felt powerless -- they feel as though is was out of their control. (not their fault) However, all of those possible scenarios need to be thought of and steps taken to mitigate the risk of them happening. There is always going to be the unexpected -- but the more we plan and prepare the less things will catch us off guard.

For example, if you're trying to be strict about your diet and something comes up at work and you didn't get to go to lunch as expected -- you'll still have a healthy option at your desk. Instead of telling yourself you'll pack your lunch in the morning before work -- pack it when you're putting away dinner the night before.

When event Z happens, go back and look at Y, X, and W to figure out what could've prevented it. In many cases, there will always be something that you, personally, could've done.

Be radically proactive. Insanely proactive. Set myself up to succeed in 65 years.

Jocko Willink said something along the lines of, when your boss thinks of something, report it already done because you'd already planned for that, thought of it, and accomplished it before he even thought about it. "Done, sir!"

But i'm not really talking about be beholden to somebody else. This is more for my personal life -- but the essence remains. Pro-activity over re-activity.

Journal Entry: April 2nd, 2016 - Personal Development

Chip away in small pieces.  For it's the repeated tapping of the sculptor's hammer that eventually brings out the beauty.  I can think of each of these areas as 6 huge pieces of stone. (mind,body, assets, relationships, karma, soul)  Each day is another opportunity to take a small tap.  You would never see a sculptor taking huge strikes with his chisel -- the whole thing would crumble.

Minimally, make the smallest amount of progress possible in each category on a daily basis.

Mind.  This could include writing, reading, watching educational documentaries, taking classes, learning, teaching, etc.

Body can include yoga, stretching, lifting weights, running, cardio, playing sports, walking the dog, and even doing meal preparation.  Diet is 90% of the problem/solution.

Assets are things that have the potential to earn money.  This includes typical employment but also things like investing and finding other random ways to make money.

Relationships are about the other people in my life that are important.  My fiance and our dog.  My family.  My friends.  My coworkers.  Other people i interact with regularly.  I need to make sure that i'm paying attention to this area and trying to create as much value for these people as possible.  Life is about giving.  It's about other people.  Nobody exists on their own.

Karma is how ago about my day to day life.  It's about seeking opportunities to help people.  Does the driver in the car behind me look like he's in a hurry?  Move over and let him pass.  See somebody with a handful of boxes walking toward a door?  Go out of my way to open the door.  Trash can half full?  Leave it for another week so the garbage man doesn't have to stop at my house.  


Soul.  Soul is the arguably the most important.  Although the system works better as a whole.  Anyways, soul is about discovering the essence of my being.  It's about getting back to who i was meant to be before i grew up and forgot.  Soul is meditation.  Soul is not getting angry when somebody cuts me off in the highway.  Soul is the ability to take a step back and see myself from a third-person point of view.  Soul is understanding the vastness of the universe and how unimportant i really am.  Soul is being comfortable knowing that fact but still being the best person possible despite it. 

Journal Entry - March 28th, 2016 - Trade-offs

Trade-offs.  

When we begin to look at things from this perspective we are better able to make decisions that align with our higher selves.

Everything is a trade-off.  The fact that I'm sitting here right now writing means that i'm not doing an infinite number of other things.  

We need to constantly check-in with ourselves and ask whether what we're doing in this moment is getting us closer to, or further away from, becoming our highest selves.

We can take this a step further and ask ourselves whether or not this is the BEST use of our time.  But, fuck it.  As long as we're in the positive I'm willing to roll with it.

Of course, going to the extreme is the quickest way to burnout.  So we also need to remind ourselves to let go once in a while and do whatever the fuck we feel like doing. (within reason)

But we should strive to maintain an 80/20 balance.  The famous Pareto Principle.

Spend four-fifths of your time doing things that align with your highest self.  Spend 20% unwinding or doing things that you like doing -- but know that it's not helping you reach your highest self.  For me, PlayStation jumps out as an obvious example.  I enjoy gaming. 

I think it's the quick-feedback loop that gets me hooked.  Instant gratification and the chance to hit the reset button.  Again, from the perspective of trade-offs, playing PlayStation means that i'm not spending time reading, or studying, or prepping meals, or exercising, or or or...infinity.

But at the same time, if i enjoy it and i'm sticking to the 80/20 then i need to allow myself that luxury.  It's good for ME in the long-run.  You can't possibly be a marathoner all day.  At some point you have to stop and take a fuckin' break.  

Think of the "highest-good" activities as the marathon and everything else as the sprint.  

The 80% is the grind, the 20% -- unwind.

80 -- grind.  20 -- unwind.

Balance, in this case, isn't 50/50.  But 80/20.

Where is 80% of our effort being directed?  Is it getting us closer or further away from self-actualization?

I'd argue that many people would be on my side.  A far worse ratio than 80/20. 

But it's only with the realization of trade-offs and constant self-reflection will we be able to change this ratio and start turning it more toward the positive.