Notes & Quotes: How to Be Perfect by Michael Schur

The following are my favorite quotes from Michael Schur's How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question.

1. We get better at the thing by doing the thing, and if we stop doing it, we'll get worse.
2. Extreme deficiency or excess of any one quality then becomes a vice, which is obviously what we're trying to avoid.
3. If we take the time to mull over what we've done, if we really commit to examining both our own actions and the actions of those around us, we can eventually come to understand what's too little, what's too much, and what's "just right."
4. The best thing about Aristotle's "constant learning, constant trying, constant searching" is what results from it: a mature yet still pliable person, brimming with experiences both old and new, who doesn't rely solely on familiar routines or dated information about how the world works.
5. Utilitarianism often runs into problems like this, because human beings, it turns out, are weird, so searching for actions that create the most "total happiness" can create bizarre situations. It doesn't seem fair to prefer a ton of pleasure for one Hawaiian pizza-loving sociopath over smaller pleasures for a large number of more decent and stable people, who understand that the proper places for ham and pineapple are in sandwiches and fruit salads, respectively.
6. The most important idea in Kantian ethics is fairly simple to understand. It's called the categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim whereby you can, at the same time, will that it should become a universal law.
7. In 2006, Nelson Mandela was asked to define ubuntu and said this: In the old days, when we were young, a traveler to our country would stop in our village, and he didn't have to ask for food or for water. Once he stops, the people give him food, and attend to him. That is one aspect of ubuntu, but it [has] various aspects...Ubuntu does not mean that the people should not enrich themselves. The question, therefore, is: Are you going to do so in order to enable the community around you to be able to improve?
8. Buddhist philosophy suggests that true happiness comes from remaining focused on the things we do, and doing them with no purpose other than to do them.
9. Whataboutism is most commonly deployed as a defensive strategy. Someone is caught doing something bad--anything from an actual crime to saying something mildly offensive on the internet--and then instead of owning up to it, he says, "Well, what about [Way Worse Thing X]?!" or "What about that bad thing you did?!" or "What about the fact that I also did [Good Thing Y]?" It's a way to throw sand in the eyes of the people making the charge, blinding them momentarily and giving the accused a chance to wriggle free. Nearly all whataboutisms are indefensible, because by definition they fail to address the moral shortcoming the bad actor has exhibited.
10. Shame has a function in a healthy world, because it gives us a weapon in the war against bad behavior. If people were incapable of feeling shame, they would do whatever they wanted with impunity, never worrying that their reputations might suffer in the public square.
11. No one--not even excessively rule-following dorks like me--follows every rule. It's impossible. But if we're trying to be good people, we should know how to deal with the moments when we actively choose not to be.
12. The choices we make may be our own, but the life into which we're born, and many of the events that befall us after that, are things we often have little or no control over.
13. It's not a meritocracy if some runners start the race ten feet from the finish line and some are denied entry to the race because of systemic biases within the Racing Commission.
14. People who achieve (or inherit) a high level of wealth and success are invested in the idea that they earned it. That belief allows us to feel like we have control over this big dumb scary world--that if we're smart and work hard we will be appropriately rewarded and everything will be fine. Conceding that a lot of this dumb luck--including, most significantly, embryo-related stuff that happened before we even conscious beings--is to concede that there were other factors at play beyond our own incredibleness, and that we're maybe not as amazing as our lot in life would indicate.

Notes & Quotes: Tough by Terry Crews

The following are my favorite quotes from Terry Crews's Tough: My Journey to True Power.

1. When I promised [my wife] Rebecca to walk away from that fight, I took the first step on a road to becoming a completely different person, and to become a completely different person, you need more than a promise. You need therapy. You need mentorship. You need love and support and patience from your family and friends. More than anything, you need time.
2. Half the reason I kept chasing my football dream was to get out of Flint [Michigan] and away from the guys like Juice and the Top Dawgs. So, needless to say, I was surprised to find out that joining the NFL meant I hadn't left the streets at all. I had teammates who were gang members. And I'm not talking about "former" gang members. These were guys with active ties to the Crips and Bloods, and they brought all that macho bullshit into the locker room with them.
3. Something needed to change, but looking at yourself in the mirror and facing your demons is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life. You will duck it and avoid it--and make excuses for ducking it and avoiding it--for a long, long time.
4. The purpose of being tough is not to attack, but to protect. The purpose of being strong is not to dominate, but to support. The purpose of having power is not to rule, but to serve. What I've learned is that to be a true man is to be the ultimate servant. With any talent or advantage that life has given you, whether by birth or by circumstance, your duty is to use that advantage in the service of others.
5. Between [my dad] Big Terry and [my mom] Trish, I caught it coming and going. If my father was addicted to alcohol and anger, my mother was addicted to religion and fear. Neither of them knew how to overcome, and together they made for a toxic pair. When they went at it, it was legendary. It was always brutal, and we were always in the middle.
6. The way addiction works, whether it's alcohol or heroin or food or sex, is that you latch onto a thing or a habit or a substance that gives you a reprieve from reality. But when more problems arise from the substance you're abusing, that substance then presents itself as the solution to the same problems it has caused. And round and round you go, not even recognizing the cycle you've created for yourself. It's only looking back now that I can see the pattern.
7. HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired). If an addict is feeling any of these emotions, those are the times when he's most likely to slip. So I learned to examine my feelings and create new triggers for healthier behaviors.
8. Luck doesn't always fall from the sky. You can't just name it and claim it. Yes, it's luck, and you don't control when or where it happens--or if it's good luck or bad--but it comes only if you're working for it. It comes as the fruit of what you're putting out into the universe. For a long time, the only vibe I was giving off was arrogance, selfishness, and entitlement, and nothing came my way. After my experience at Labor Ready, I was giving off only exuberance and enthusiasm and dedication, no matter how menial the task. People noticed.
9. We always tell ourselves we don't have time to spend an hour exercising every day. We're too busy with work and with family. But the thing about the hour of exercise is that it makes you feel so much better that the other twenty-three hours of the day become that much more productive. Giving up that hour of time actually gets you more time, because it gives you better use of your time. You sleep better. You work more efficiently. You eat better, too, and not because you're forcing yourself on some diet you hate, but because your body doesn't want that unhealthy food anymore. More than anything, it forces you to manage your time to make sure you have that hour for the gym, and that fact alone ensures that you're paying attention to your days and making the most of every moment.
10. Tithing helped me understand that money doesn't really exist. It's a symbol, a representation of value given for value received.
11. The best way to become successful is to serve people. The more people you serve, the more valued you are. The more valued you are, the more you receive, which can come in the form of more money, or it can come in the form of other intangibles that are worth more than money, like happiness, respect, and a sense of purpose. Work becomes its own blessing. So now, the question I ask myself every morning is not "How do I make more money?" The question I ask myself is "How do I increase my value?"
12. Somebody's always jacked in. Which is why you always have to be cognizant of who that person is and how much power they have over you. Like my son with his iPhone, whoever's got that cord controls what you hear, which means they can set your mood. If they can set your mood, they can influence how you feel. If they can influence how you feel, they can change the way you think. And if they can change the way you think, they can control the way you behave.
13. The kids who were misbehaving, they weren't that different from me, actually. When you see poor kids in the hood acting out, a lot of them are trying to find out if anybody gives a damn about them, because their whole lives they've grown up with the feeling that nobody does.
14. We should always strive to create a world that is just and fair, but injustice and suffering will always be with us. We cannot will them out of existence, and we cannot control when or how they will be inflicted upon us. We can only control how we respond. Power and agency come from within. Dignity and self-worth come from within.
15. Letting someone else make you angry is giving them too much control over your life. You cannot control what happens to you, but you can always control how you respond. You are never powerless. You always have a choice.
16. An insult hurts only if there's a ring of truth to it; it only hurts if you believe it. My mother calling my dad a broke-ass drunk cut him to the bone, because it was true. But if you called Bill Gates broke, you wouldn't be insulting the man, because he knows he isn't broke. He'd laugh at you and shrug it off.
17. As the city started to crater, the newspapers salivated over every detail. If it bled, it led, and if a black man was responsible for it, all the better. Anytime a black man did anything, the headlines would literally read a black man killed three people today or a black man has crack den or four dead in crack den, with several black people. If it was a white man, he was just a man, but if it was a black man, his race was always called out.
18. Seventh grade was the year I went from being treated like a black boy to being treated like a black man, and the difference was stark. I noticed it the minute it happened. My mother loved going to the big department stores at the mall. As a kid, I hated it because she would spend all her time trying stuff on but then never buying anything because we didn't have any money. As an adolescent, I hated it because I had white salespeople on me all the time. "What do you want? What are you looking for? What do you need? Can I help you?" Even after they backed off, I could feel their eyes following me around the store, like I was about to steal something.
19. Every situation carries with it the potential for social miscues and misunderstanding. If you go into those interactions expecting the worst, you're going to get it. Because all you get back from any situation is what you put into it.
20. Frederick Douglass understood power and agency in the same way that Viktor Frankl understood power and agency. They come from within. We can and should protest and call out injustice in the world, but we cannot control or stamp out every injustice that exists. What we can control, what we do have power over, is ourselves. We can always choose what we say and how we respond. Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X and Fannie Lou Hamer and Shirley Chisholm understood that, too. Those men and women were able to endure everything from segregated rail cars to prison cells, because nothing the world threw at them could dim the light they carried inside themselves. That is true power.

Notes & Quotes: Unbreakable by Jay Glazer

The following are my favorite quotes from Jay Glazer's Unbreakable: How I Turned My Depression and Anxiety into Motivation and You Can Too.

1. Vulnerability is true strength. If I am vulnerable, it may inspire a teammate to be the same. It may help lift them out of their own pit.
2. I did everything I could to stand out! Don't just quietly go about your business. Stand the fuck out!
3. I took some advice my dad had once given me, about getting ahead by being loyal and outworking the world, and I spun it out into three mantras I would use to make me stand out: Be different. Outwork the world. Be the last one standing.
4. Trust. That's the secret ingredient to being an NFL Insider. Gain trust. And never ever, ever fuck that trust over.
5. I can give two shits about rejection. That's another superpower of mine. I don't give a fuck if you turn me down. Why? Because what good does that do me, to live in fear of something that hasn't happened yet? We can't hit a home run if we don't swing the bat. We can't win a fight if we don't throw a punch. Fuck it, teammate, might as well swing.
6. Every time you do something, however small, view it as big. Because it is. It all has a ripple effect. You may have helped someone, or you may have, without knowing it, saved someone. Maybe you did something for somebody, and because of that they had a better day, and then, they turned around and did something to life someone else, who was in their darkest place. You never fucking know!! It really and truly all helps. Suddenly, it's expanding exponentially, until hundreds, then thousands, of people are finally getting the help they need. So, love yourself up when you do something of service for others. You did good!
7. We live in a society where we are constantly comparing ourselves to someone else's "filtered" fraction of a second of their lives on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, so of course we often think our own lives suck. Or we feel left out of everyone else's "successes," many of which are full of shit, because they are filtered, edited, highlighted, or enhanced.
8. "You never know what lies around next Tuesday." As in, you'll never know when life will change for you. Some of the shittiest things that can ever happen, could, in fact, end up blessing the world. How many times have we felt despair from not getting a job or losing a relationship or having something completely shitty happen, only to one day have it all turn around? You just never know who you are going to meet that will change your life. You never know what will come into your life to suddenly empower you. You never know what lies around the corner...or next Tuesday, as I put it.
9. The team that challenges you is the one that grows you.
10. There is never an end of the road, gang. Never. But you have to decide that and follow through with conviction.
11. The 5 Pillars of the Unbreakable Mindset
1. Find out who the best is...and do more than them.
2. Be relentless. 
3. Push your breaking point, push your breaking point, push your breaking point.
4. Neutral face: don't ever show you're hurt or tired.
5. It's your honor to fight hurt.
12. Find out where you want to be in life and do more than everyone else to get there. Outwork the world. That's the big magic bullet for success.
13. When we walked inside, every single light was off...except one. Sitting alone, in a meeting room, with film on and notes in front of him was [Drew] Brees. Ten-forty-five at night. All alone. "Dude what the fuck ya doing?" I asked, shocked at what I'd stumbled upon. Brees shrugged and delivered the greatest, unintentional motivational line I've ever heard in my life: "Sometimes trying to be great is lonely."
14. Always reward and celebrate growth, teammate...always.
15. That's how you want to live your life--focused on yourself, on what you're getting out of the fight, on what you can learn. You want to grow and emerge even more badass the next time out. 
16. Every loss presents an opportunity to improve, presents an opportunity to overcome. Adversity is a gift. It's how we grow. But in order to truly do this, we need to take our ego and pride out of it. Being Unbreakable means we have been knocked down, we have taken losses, we have been hurt, but we got back up every single time.
17. Be authentic. Too many of us try to be something we are not or try to act a certain way to impress others. That's when we get into trouble, teammate. Just be authentic. We all have things that make us different, so learn to lean on what makes you, well, YOU. And then run with it. 
18. If you are loving, and stay authentic, you will attract other loving people. If you are an asshole and stay authentic, you'll probably attract other assholes.