Introspective Journaling - Day 10: If my life was ending at 40, what would i do?

if i knew that i was going to die in a decade i would probably start living life a little more recklessly.  Smoke tons of cigarettes, drink a beer for breakfast every now and again, stop exercising, and overall just not giving a fuck.  I don't know if any of that is true or not. Actually, i'm pretty sure that it isn't true.  Anyways...

One of my first thoughts was that i'd have a child.  But is that right for me to have a kid knowing that i won't be there to watch him or her grow up?  Never be able to watch them play high school sports, or go to prom, or college, or get married, etc.  That would be a helluva tough decision.  A lot of it would obviously depend on what the other half thought.  I can't make a baby by myself.  She'd also carry the burden once i've passed.  It's not like i have a stash of millions of dollars i can hand over before i die.  It's an interesting question that i don't have an answer for at this point.

I'd like to think that i'd do more to try and embrace each day and get the most out of it.  Kind of makes me feel like an asshole for not already feeling that way.  To be honest, i'm not sure that much would change.  The truth is, if that's what i really wanted to do i would already be doing it. 

I got this question from MarcandAngel and when i read it i thought about all of the great things that i would do until i came to that realization discussed above.  I'm sure this type of response isn't what they had in mind -- but it definitely made me contemplate.